The fact that some skills are less influenced by efforts may mislead us. Fishes are better than you breathing underwater and it’s not their can-do attitude. Each of us finds some things come easier than others, math and swimming may feel natural while patience and empathy may not. While some skills might feel natural to some people, we should need to avoid thinking we have a fixed mindset, we don’t.
So next time you get a negative evaluation on something you are working on. If the assessment seems fair and the evaluator has the best intentions with you. Although the consequences are painful, they will guide you towards a better self.
You get rejected by an employer or a girl, you got bad feedback from the team, you lost a client, etc. Then you have to score yourself with a second evaluation. After a low-scoring you receive, give yourself a second score based on how you handled the first one. This way you may get an F for the situation but you can get an A+ for how you dealt with it. And that A+ will be what will take you to the next level. There’s no fixed mindset if you don’t want it to be. Everyone is free to grow if they want to.
This article was inspired by the book "Thanks for the feedback" by Dougla Stone & Sheila Heen.